


Dodged Questions

by TerminalMiraculosis



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Established Relationship, Multi, alya is suspicious, just Alya trying to figure out why Marinette and Adrien became so chummy all of a sudden, post-reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 02:04:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6933610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerminalMiraculosis/pseuds/TerminalMiraculosis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, people call Alya crazy. She doesn’t agree with them, but she can’t deny that she is slowly going down that path. She is also progressively more inclined to jump up and strangle the secrets out of her friends in the middle of math class. </p><p>It started normally enough; sideways glances, oddly-timed winks, less than sound excuses; but Alya knows something is going on between her friends. There’s something they aren’t telling her.</p><p>And she is going to drive herself and everyone around her crazy finding out what.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consider this fic to be a follow-up to all those fics that end at the reveal. It's a established relationship fic centering around the very best character, also known as Alya, and how she goes crazy trying to figure out what's going on with Marinette and Ladybug. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I am American and saw the Nickelodian airings of the show (all 26 episodes). I will inevitably get stuff wrong about France and French culture. Forgive me.

Adrien Agreste arrived at school late. He discreetly walked over to Ms. Bustier and handed her a slip of paper—a pass, it would seem—and just said “Photoshoot,” receiving a curt nod from the instructor. He moved to take his seat.

“Hey, Marinette,” he greeted, grinned broadly at the dark-haired girl.

“Hi, Adrien.” Marinette smiled politely at her long-time crush.

Alya’s world shattered. 

As soon as the boy took his seat next to Nino, she slowly turned to look at her friend, mouth agape. Marinette shot her a _What?_ face. Alya replied with a _You know what!_ face, which was quickly accompanied by Mari’s typical _Alya, seriously, just talk to me with words_ face. Alya sighed. Her distinctive facial expressions would never be appreciated, it seemed.

“Girl!” she whispered hastily, “You just greeted Adrien with a smooth voice and a not-serial-killer-like smile!”

“Oh, right,” replied Marinette, her eyes darting to the boy. “I suppose I did.”

“Wasn’t it just yesterday that you _literally_ fell down a flight of stairs after he said he liked your shirt?”

Marinette groaned. “Don’t remind me. I still have bruises.”

“Exactly! What changed?”

Marinette shrugged and looked back down at the worksheet. Alya’s eyelids narrowed, but before she could press further, the teacher’s voice sent a jolt of fear down her spine.

“Alya, would you like to answer question E?”

“Uh…” Alya looked helplessly at the blackboard. “No.”

“Didn’t think so. Please pay attention.”

Alya shot an icy glare at a giggling Marinette. Stupid friend. Stupid friend that was _hiding something_. But Marinette would tell her everything in time; Alya was her BFF.

Meaning that Alya knew exactly how to extort information out of her.

\---

“See you tomorrow!” exclaimed Ms. Bustier to a quickly emptying classroom, the lunch bell arresting what little attention she had previously commanded.

When Marinette started to practically dash out of the room, Alya grabbed her by the shoulder. “Hey, Marin—”

“Sorry, Alya, but I’ve really gotta go. History project. Due next class. So sorry.”

And like that, she was gone.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve gotta do that too. Darn modeling cutting into my homework time.” Alya swiveled to face a flustered Adrien, who was hastily packing up his bags. “Sorry, Nino! Have to run!”

“Don’t worry, bro, it’s—”

Adrien scrambled through the doorframe, not bothering to look back.

“…fine?” Nino scratched the back of his neck.

Alya took stance next to him. “I’m not the only one seeing this, right?”

Nino looked at her quizzically. “Seeing what?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Uh. No?”

“They are _definitely_ hiding something.”

Nino shrugged. “Seem pretty normal to me. You know how forgetful those two are.”

Alya gave him her best _Seriously, Nino? Haven’t you learned to trust my naturally superior intuition?_ look. 

Nino was unamused. “Please don’t tell me you expect me to be able to tell, like, a novel’s worth of information from a single look again.”

“Shut up and treat me to some lunch.” Alya grabbed his hand and marched him out of the school.

\---

Marinette sat at her desk at home, working on a new dress. She’d been perfecting the design all week, and had been eager to get started. Alya did not, in fact, consider this an activity that should prevent her from answering a slew of invasive questions.

“So I was thinking, well, being a huge stuttering mess wasn’t getting me anywhere, so if I wanted a chance with him, I had to change my game plan.”

“And just like that, you magically became all un-awkward?”

Marinette flashed a sheepish smile. “I guess I finally started listening to you, Alya. Thanks again for all the help with the whole crush thing. You’ve been giving me really sound advice.”

Alya threw her hands around her friend, a grin plastered over her face. “Girl, I knew you’d come around!”

Marinette internally sighed in relief. She could always rely on the old ‘misdirectional compliment’ strategy.

“So are you dating?”

Marinette froze, needle pausing mid-stitch. Alya smirked. That was a good sign. Had she struck gold? Alya twisted her head to get a look at Marinette’s face.

Her eyes were facing her work, her jaw set, and her mouth pulled in a nondescript line. It was the perfect poker face.

_Marinette_ was pulling a perfect poker face.

“No. We aren’t dating. I still don’t know him very well, after all.”

Nothing. Alya could tell nothing, and it was driving her up the wall. Was she hiding something? Was she sincere? Indifferent? Happy, sad, confused, disappointed, apprehensive, scared? Alya had no idea. This coming from Marinette, the girl whose heart she wore on her sleeve, who couldn’t keep her crush a secret from anyone except the most oblivious boy in class (who just so happened to be who she was crushing on, but that was beside the point).

“Well, I’m sure you’ll build up the courage to ask him eventually,” Alya assured, not knowing what else to say.

“I suppose.” Marinette sighed. It was quite a deep sigh. It almost sounded forced… 

A voice in the back of Alya’s mind told her that she was making mountains out of anthills, and that not everything Marinette did was suspect. Alya labeled this voice as Nino and told it to shut the hell up because she was going to be suspicious if she damn well wanted to be. Besides, she still had more questions that required suitable answers.

“And another thing!” Marinette groaned, but Alya kept on. “Why were you in such a hurry to leave class?”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “Look, I’m sorry I ran off so suddenly, but I needed to work on that project!”

Alya leaned closer. “Is that _all_ you did?”

“Of course that’s all we did!”

Alya’s grin widened as Marinette quickly slapped her hands over her mouth, but she was far too late to correct her slip up.

“Oh? Who’s ‘we’?”

“U-Ummm…”

Alya’s smirk only grew. “You wouldn’t have happened to be with _Adri_ —”

“Oh my god!” Marinette pointed over Alya’s shoulder. “Ladybug’s in my bedroom!”

“Really!?” Alya jumped to her feet and jerked herself around. She could not see Ladybug. Maybe she just wasn’t looking hard enough?

“Mari, where is she?” No response. “Mari?” She turned back around to see a sliver of black hair drop from the outside of Marinette’s window.

“Mari, what the hell? This is the second story!” Alya ran over to the windowsill and poked her head through to see her friend bolting down the sidewalk.

“And I’m also pretty sure you lied to me about Ladybug, which is _not cool!_ ” Her voice echoed through the evening air, unanswered.

“I swear, I’m just going to lock her in a closet and hook her up to a lie detector, because I am now positive she’s hiding something,” she grumbled to herself. She quickly wrote down a note for Marinette before leaving for home.

_You can run, girl, but you can’t hide._

_—Alya_


	2. Chapter 2

Screams echoed around Alya as her legs flashed under her, running as hard as she could.

_Towards_ the screams. Because she had a job to do, dammit.

Alya peeked around a corner to see Ladybug and Chat Noir in the middle of their fight. “Score!” She turned on her phone and started recording.

The duo seemed to be fighting an akumatized florist, if the wild, carnivorous flowers were anything to go by. Madam Thorn, as she called herself, was standing on a giant sunflower about twenty feet in the air. She wore a green and yellow skinsuit and a rose-red mask, with a ring of petals encircling her neck. A zinnia was tucked behind her left ear; Alya guessed that was the possessed item Ladybug needed to break. 

Chat Noir had just used his cataclysm to bust the duo out of some entangling vines, and Madam Thorn had started shooting a maelstrom of sharp seeds out of her hand. Ladybug backed off as Chat distracted the Akuma, twirling his baton as a shield as he flipped and dove around.

“I could use a little bit of help, My Lady! Too much more of this and I’ll become compost!”

“On it!” she called, throwing her weapon skyward. 

“Lucky Charm!”

After a couple seconds, Ladybug’s yo-yo returned, along with a cordless electric fan. 

“What am I supposed to do with this?” Her eyes darted around, a plan forming in her head. “That’s it! Chat, fetch!” She lobbed the fan at the villian.

“Silly Ladybug, only dogs fetch. Cats prefer to _cat_ -ch,” yelled Chat as he vaulted after the household appliance. Ladybug deftly took up seed-blocking duties, spinning her yo-yo so quickly it buzzed.

As he flew through the air, Chat snatched the fan and pointed it straight at Madam Thorn. She easily knocked him away with one of her plant minions, but not before the flower behind her ear was blown away. Ladybug wrapped her yo-yo around it and pulled, snapping the stem in two, and quickly purified the akuma.

“Miraculous Ladybug!” she shouted, throwing the fan high into the sky before a swarm of ladybugs dutifully rebuilt the city.

Chat landed on the ground next to her, and their knuckles collided. “Pound it!”

Alya wasted no time in rushing out to the heroes. “Oh my gosh, that was amazing!”

Ladybug turned. “Oh, hey, Alya! Nice to see you again.” She waved at her camera. “And hi, Ladyblog!”

_OMG SHE REMEMBERS MY NAME I CAN’T BEL—no, questions now, gushing to Marinette about this later._

“Hey, would you mind answering a couple quick questions?”

The superheroes looked at each other. Chat shrugged. “Sure, we’ve got some time before we detransform.”

“Thank you so much! Okay, so all of Paris wants to know: are you two dating?”

Ladybug looked at Chat, whose grin was clearly saying “Let’s screw with her.” Marinette returned the gesture, then looked back at the giddy reporter.

“Define ‘dating’. I think it’s important that we’re on the same page here.”

Alya raised an eyebrow, but complied. “You know, going on dates, hand holding, cuddling… Romantic stuff.”

Chat tapped his chin. “Well, that stuff’s all kinda subjective, you know? I’m not sure I understand the question.”

Alya groaned. “Okay, yes or no—do you kiss each other?”

They shrugged. Really? How hard is it to just… Wait. “Are you two just screwing with me?”

They nodded.

“I hate you both.”

They smiled, and Chat’s ring beeped. “Whelp, it’s been nice talking, but me and my ambiguously platonic paw-rtner here need to run. See ya round!” He blew a kiss into the camera before jumping away, Ladybug by his side.

Alya smiled and stopped recording. Sure, she hadn’t gotten an answer, but she _did_ get a video of them dodging the question repeatedly, which was sure to get her followers curious. And at this point, she had a lot of followers, which was probably due to the fact that she was probably the only person in Paris willing to get close enough to film the battles. And sure, it was dangerous, but she was just starting to get recognized on the street on a daily basis, so like hell was she stopping.

She replayed the video. Oh, yeah, those two would be all over the papers tomorrow.

\---

**The Heroes of Paris… dating? It’s More Likely Than You Think!**

Even in Marinette’s groggy before-breakfast stupor, the headline grabbed her attention. She unceremoniously slung her arm across the table, her fingernails digging into the paper as she hauled it next her cereal bowl. 

**In a video recently posted to the number one source of Ladybug and Chat Noir coverage, the Ladyblog, Alya Césaire (the creator of the Ladyblog) asks the local supers about their relationship status. The dynamic duo respond jokingly, dancing around the question, much to Césaire’s chagrin. A war is being waged in the comments section of the post, with sides arguing for and against the possibility of a romantic relationship. “There obviously just screwing w/ Alya,” says user SuckMyHawkmoth. “But did u see the way they look at each other?” counters user baton-staff-pole. (continued on C3).**

At this point, Marinette was finished with her cereal, and rushed up to her room, dialing Adrien’s number.

“Adrien, have you read the newspaper?”

“No, but I checked the Ladyblog, so I can guess what this is about.”

“How many views does it have, anyway? The article didn’t say.”

“A million.”

“A _MILLION!?_ That’s, like, half of Paris!”

“Yeah, and it’s like the civil war in the fanbase; apparently, some people are opposed to our ‘relationship’ for what seem to be quite personal reasons. It’s actually pretty funny.”

Marinette clutched a hand to her chest. “Funny? This is a _disaster!_ The press is going to hound us, and then we won’t be able to get away in time, and our identities will be revealed, and Hawkmoth will target our families, and Alya will totally _kill me_ when she realizes that she’s spent hours of her life telling me how great Ladybug—how great _I_ am, and I just sat there and said nothing, and—”

Adrien laughed softly. “Mari, calm down. Everything’s going to be _feline_.”

Marinette didn’t laugh. She never did. “What are you talking about? Nothing’s going to be feline!”

“No, seriously, in about six minutes you’ll be over this. I know you.”

“Well, yes, but right now I’m panicking!”

“We could always just tell them the truth. I mean, how much harm could it really cause?”

“Sorry, Chat, but I’m not quite ready to go public.”

“Worried that all the thirty year old men with a crush on you are going to be disappointed?”

Marinette scoffed. “Oh, please! You can’t say something like that and expect me to believe you.”

“I’m just saying what the comments are saying.”

“Man, these stupid perception-altering magic suits are going to put us in a very awkward situation some day.” Marinette felt a tugging on her arm, and turned to see Tikki pointing wildly at her clock. “Oh, crap! I gotta get ready. See you at school.”

“You too. Oh, and good luck with Alya.”

“With her, I don’t think even _my_ luck will be enough. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Marinette hung up flopped down on her bed. “Tikki, what am I even doing?”

The kwami flew above her face and spread her tiny arms wide. “Wasting time! You haven’t even done your hair yet—you’re going to be late! AGAIN!”

The girl got up, albeit reluctantly. “You sound just like my parents. I’ll be fine.”

“That’s what you said the last six times,” Tikki grumbled to herself, but she couldn’t help but smile as Marinette struggled to pull her hair into pigtails. “Oh, never change, you adorable dork.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty confident that SuckMyHawkmoth is an unused username, and that's a shame, so I encourage at least one of you to take one for the team and switch to it.


	3. Chapter 3

Alya leaned against the railing of the steps to her school. Students flooded past her in waves, but she didn’t so much as wave at them; she was waiting for a very particular girl, a girl who _really_ needed to explain herself.

A devilish grin formed on her face as she started scheming in her head. A battle waged between mind-Alya’s journalistic lust for answers and mind-Nino’s obnoxious penchant for realism and morality. 

But as soon as she decided to just wing it (that was her solution to most problems), her quarry spotted her and started walking briskly the way she had come. She didn’t get very far before Alya noticed and rushed after her, taking the steps three at a time.

“Marinette, wait! I swear I won’t tell anyone you two are dating!” Alya shouted as her shoes dug holes into the concrete below her. Any students in her path promptly dodged out of the way; this was not the first time Alya had entered what had come to be known as ‘frustrated journalist mode,’ and no one wanted to be caught in the middle of her and her precious answers.

Marinette looked over her shoulder just long enough to yell a quick “We are _not_ dating! I swear to god, Alya!” before redoubling her escape efforts. Damn, that girl was fast. And could apparently stick a twenty foot landing out of a bedroom window. Sure wouldn’t know it looking at her, but Marinette was probably _shredded_. 

After chasing her friend through countless side streets and alleyways, Alya’s legs were beginning to falter, her breath becoming ragged and desperate, and she lost sight of Marinette down a particularly out-of-the-way crevice between two buildings. Had her respiration not been so loud at the time, she might have heard a quiet “Tikki! Spots on!” before she wearily turned into the empty alley.

“God… huff… _dammit_ , Marinette.”

Alya collapsed.

\---

Nino was, for once, paying attention to Ms. Mendeleiev’s lecture on chemistry. He couldn’t help himself, he had nothing irresponsible to do. It was making him anxious. So, he welcomed the distraction with open arms as Alya burst through the door, panting and heaving. She shot an rigid glare at Marinette.

“You. How did you even get back on time?”

Marinette smiled politely and waved. “Hey, Alya! Have a nice walk?”

“Miss Césaire,” scolded Ms. Mendeleiev with a venomous tone, “I suggest you take your seat so we may all return to the lesson after your most uncouth interruption.”

Alya hissed out a quick “We are going to have a _long_ and _satisfying_ conversation later, and there’s _nothing you can do to get out of it_ ,” before returning to her seat.

Marinette giggled out a “Sure thing, Alya,” before sharing a knowing glance with Adrien. Okay, _what?_ Adrien was definitely in on whatever Marinette was keeping from her. Alya took out a sticky note and quickly scribbled on it when the teacher’s back was turned.

_OMG you two are TOTALLY dating ;)_

Alya slid the note over to Marinette, who was dutifully paying attention to the lecture, and poked her lightly on the elbow. Without so much as shifting her head, Marinette reached over, grabbed the note, crumpled it up, and tossed in the trashcan. Alya’s eyes went wide and her breath hitched in her throat; she did _not_ just do that.

“Bro,” whispered a stunned Nino from in front of the girls. Apparently, Alya wasn’t the only one to see Marinette’s display of utter disregard for not only her BFF, but standard classroom etiquette, as well. Well, she supposed that passing notes was technically against the class rules, but _still_. It was all mind-Nino could do to hold her from ripping Mari’s head off.

And if that wasn’t enough, a certain blond-haired model seated in front of her snickered. That jerk. It was time to bring in the backup.

Nino felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, and he immediately whipped it out under the desk. Just as he had expected, there was a text from Alya awaiting him.

**A** \- Still think nothing’s going on?

**N** \- ok your right somethings going on i admit it

**A** \- Nino, I need you to do something for me.

**N** \- o god

**A** \- Shut up. Just ask Adrien some questions. About his current standing with Marinette. K?

**N** \- alya its obvious they dont want to tell us. maybe we should just leave them alone

**A** \- Ugh, you’re just as bad as mind Nino.

**N** \- excuse me

**A** \- You don’t get answers unless you get ME answers first.

**A** \- C’mon, please. For me.

**N** \- fine but dont blame me for anything that happens

Alya flashed him a thumbs-up and started ‘doing her worksheet.’ She couldn’t help it if her ear was trained to pick up on surrounding conversations that she was not a part of. Couldn’t help it at all.

“So, dude, I’ve noticed that you’ve gotten a bit friendlier with Mari lately.”

“Hmm.” 

“How’d that happen?”

“I dunno.” Adrien’s eyes were trained on his paper.

“C’mon, man, I’m your best bro! You can tell me anything.”

“I guess.”

“So are you two dating?”

Alya smirked. She could always rely on Nino’s blunt casualness to catch an unsuspecting friend off-guard.

“I dunno.” Adrien scrawled an answer into one of the blanks.

_Oh, come ON!_ Alya screeched in her head. Nino turned to give her a look. She would have described it as his _Seriously?_ look combined with his _Alya why do I even bother this is 1. Hard and 2. Your problem_ look. However, she was too busy slamming her head into her desk to notice.

\---

Marinette, Adrien, Nino, and Alya were eating their lunches in the park, the group sitting around a slightly-rotted picnic bench. Alya had yet to question either Adrien or Marinette (much to the pair’s relief), and was preoccupied with pulling up a certain video from the Ladyblog. Marinette was pretty sure she knew which one.

“I swear, Mari, this is conclusive evidence against your argument!”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “Sure. Which argument are we talking about, again?”

“The one where you said that Ladybug and Chat Noir aren’t dating!”

Marinette bit her lip. Her stance on that particular topic had flipped on its head quite suddenly a few days ago, but she couldn’t just change her position out of the blue. Alya would get suspicious. Well, more suspicious than she was already.

“Here it is! Open your eyes and see the truth, Marinette Dupain-Cheng!” 

Thrust in her face was the interview from their latest Akuma attack. It probably would’ve been easier to just lie, or to just tell the truth, but screwing with Alya had just been so _tempting_.

“Alya, they don’t say one way or another. How is this ‘conclusive evidence?’”

Alya only raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, it’s like politics, right? They don’t want to give a concrete answer so that people who disagree don’t take up arms.”

“Come _on_ , girl! Literally every person in Paris knows Chat has a massive crush on Ladybug; they’re already halfway there!”

“Can you blame him?” questioned a smirking Adrien from across the table. “She’s hot in that spandex.”

Marinette glared at Adrien. That traitor. “Well, I’m sticking to my story,” she said slowly, “I don’t know _what_ she could possibly see in such a _mangy_ alley cat.”

“Your right, I’m sure she’d much rather date a hot teen model.” Adrien winked. “Don’t know where’d she find one of those, though.”

Marinette licked her lips, but barely, only enough for Adrien to notice. “You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if she did.”

Adrien leaned forward. “What, like a certain other pretty lady I can think of? That—”

Nino coughed.

Adrien stopped dead in his tracks, and both his and Marinette’s faces whitened, their muscles refusing to listen.

Nino coughed again, and then another two times before clearing his throat “Ahem. Don’t mind me, please continue.”

There was a beat of silence as the four teens just stared at each other, Marinette and Adrien fearfully, Nino expectantly, and Alya… Well, Alya just stared.

“Wow! Uh, man, I’ve really gotta, um—”

Marinette cut Adrien off. “Go work on that essay for, eh—”

“Science! Together!”

“Because we’re partners!”

“On the essay, yeah, and—”

“Oh, golly, Adrien, look at the time! Sorry, dudes, but we gotta make like a lumberjack and split!”

“Haha, yeah, that thesis sure won’t state itself! Time to hit the road, my friend!”

Alya’s jaw dropped as her two friends ran for the hills, faces so hot they were practically melting off of their heads. “So, that was a thing.”

Nino swallowed a bite of sandwich. “Call me crazy, but I think they might be dating.”

Alya snorted. “That’s putting it lightly. You saw that just as well as I did. History project my ass, they were having a steamy make out session.”

“Please don’t tell me we were that bad.”

“Nino, we still _are_ that bad. We’re just subtle.”

He only sighed.

“The question is,” said Alya, stroking her chin, “How did Marinette get from ‘can’t go a day without embarrassing herself in front of him’ to ‘can’t go a day without groping him?’”

Nino swore he could smell the meddling radiating off of his girlfriend, and it was hot. “Alright, Alya, what’s the plan?”

She grinned. “I thought you’d never ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alya boutta get up to some shit


	4. Chapter 4

“Pound it!”

As her arm fell to her side, Ladybug groaned. “Ugh, that was probably our longest fight yet. When I get home I’m gunna sleep forever.”

Chat looked down at his ring; four pads left.

_Beep!_

Make that three. “My Lady, we need to get—”

“Ladybug! Is it true that you turned down Chat Noir?”

_Oh, shit_. Ladybug turned to face a sea of reporters.

“Is your budding relationship going to interfere with your performance on the battlefield?”

“Do you keep the suits on when you get busy?”

_Beep!_

Ladybug’s hand shot to her earring. She looked at Chat and gestured to a nearby building with her eyes, and as soon as he nodded, she slung her yo-yo around some aluminum piping, rocketing away.

She landed lightly on the roof, Chat touching down next to her with a soft tap. “There’s an alley here we should be able to use,” he suggested, dropping off the side of the building. Ladybug prepared to follow when she saw the flash of a camera light up the night.

“Chat, on a scale of 1 to 10, how hot is Ladybug?”

“10!” Chat vaulted back onto the roof and looked around frantically. “We don’t have _time_ for this!”

Ladybug bit her lip and looked around. “Follow me.”

She proceeded to lead her partner over roofs, through back streets, and around corners, but no matter how elusive their maneuvers, they failed to shake the paparazzi. 

“Please, can either of you confirm these rumors?”

_Beep!_ Two pads.

“Exactly how long is Chat’s staff?”

_Beep!_ Two spots, and a groan. She just _had_ to phrase the question that way, didn’t she?

“How bad was the ambient sexual tension before you started dating?”

_BEEP!BEEP!BEEP!_ Chat brought his hand in front of face, but he didn’t need confirmation. He was about to detransform in front of about twenty cameras. “We need to shake them quickly, or they’ll find out the _Agreste_ of our secrets!”

“I know, Chat. So don’t resist.”

Without any further warning, Chat found himself slamming into a dumpster, a soda can lodged between his teeth. Ladybug dropped in next to him and closed the lid right as green light engulfed the dumpster.

Adrien spat the can out of his mouth. “You know, out of all the places I’ve had to detransform in, this is probably at the bottom of the list.”

Another flash of light later, and Marinette was next to him, brushing a banana peel off of her face. “Trust me, this wasn’t my first choice either, but we were out of options. Speaking of which, keep your voice down.” She gestured outside the dumpster, where the muffled sounds of camera crews could still be heard combing the city. “And besides, wouldn’t you be used to rooting through trash cans, you alleycat?”

Adrien pinched his nose. “Cat or no, this place reeks worse than Camembert.”

A black shape flew in front of Adrien’s face. “Alright, first off, you say that as if Camembert smells bad. Second, I think the this place smells just fine.”

“Plagg, aren’t cats supposed to be better at smelling things than humans?”

“We are!”

There was a snort from Marinette’s purse, among muffled chewing noises. The cat kwami rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Tikki.”

“Smells aside,” said Marinette, “that was much too close for comfort. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to have to take refuge in dumpsters after every battle.” She elbowed him. “Even if it’s where you belong, you trash.”

“I will take the liberty of ignoring that comment, thank you.” Adrien paused. “We have several options, really. The craze will die down eventually, but we don’t know how long that would take. We could also just tell them the truth—”

“NO!”

“—or we could lie and say we aren’t dating—”

“NO!”

Adrien threw his hands wide, exasperated. “Well, you aren’t exactly giving us many options here, Mari. Is it really so bad if they know the truth?”

“I… Look, I don’t know. I need some time to think about it.”

“Well, don’t rush yourself. We’ve got plenty of dumpsters to explore in the meantime.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Marinette pressed her ear against the cool metal; quiet. “Alright, we’re good to go.”

“Hallelujah!” Adrien exclaimed as he sprang into the fresh, not-intoxicating air of the alley. And since Marinette had given the all-clear, he understandably jumped out of his skin when he saw the lone figure staring at him from the sidewalk.

“Dude, what the fuck were you doing in there?”

“Oh, uh, hi, Nino! Nice weather we’re having, huh?” _Just my luck_ , thought Adrien. _Marinette, PLEASE don’t come out now_.

“Actually, bro? I don’t think I wanna know.”

Adrien looked Nino straight in the eyes. “This. Never. Happened.”

His friend flashed him a thumbs-up and an awkward smile before strolling out of sight once again.

“Oh, kid! He probably thinks you do this regularly or something!”

“Plagg, you’re really not helping.”

\---

“If you haven’t finished numbers one through twelve, it’s homework,” called Ms. Bustier from the front of the class, straining to be heard over the bell. “Have a nice lunch!”

Marinette quickly closed her notebook and stuffed it into her backpack. _Gotta get away from Alya, gotta get away from Alya, gotta get aw—_

“Hey! Nino! Give it back!” Marinette paused, watching as Nino ran out of the classroom, Adrien’s bag pressed haphazardly to his side with one hand.

“Catch me if you can!” he yelled over his shoulder as he flew down the hall, his friend in hot pursuit.

Marinette observed the scene with mild interest and confusion. “What’s up with—hey!” She swept her backpack across the desk, away from Alya’s twitching fingers. “Forget them, what’s up with you?” Alya again reached for Marinette’s bag, and she again twisted out her reach; unfortunately, Marinette’s jerky movements swung her purse right in front of Alya. The blogger wasted no time in snatching it and making a break for the door. 

“Alya, stop! I need that purse!” Marinette prayed her friend hadn’t heard Tikki’s nervous squeak over her yelling.

“Not a chance, girl!”

“Alya, I’m much faster than you!”

But despite Marinette’s best efforts, Alya managed to stay out of Marinette’s grasp (albeit barely) as she darted between pedestrians and skidded around corners, leading a flustered Marinette on a wild goose chase through the city streets.

At long last, Alya screeched to a halt in a dead-end alleyway, dangling the pink purse tauntingly in front of her. Marinette lunged, but Alya quickly side-stepped and pushed her against the far wall.

“Oh, hey, Marinette. I think I know what this is all about now.”

Marinette turned.

“A-Adrien? What are you…” Her sentence trailed as she noticed a smug looking Nino standing shoulder-to-shoulder with an equally smug looking Alya, blocking their escape. “Oh.”

“Got a plan yet, princess?”

Alya was immediately in their faces. “‘Princess?’”

Marinette blushed. He just _had_ to break out the pet names. “Okay, fine, Alya, we’re dating. Can I have my purse back now?”

Alya laughed. Not a good sign. “Girl, we already know you two are _dating_.”

Adrien smiled nervously. “So, why are you holding us hostage in alleyway?”

“I want the _details,_ ” Alya drawled, pulling out a pencil and a pad of paper and leaning against the building beside her. “So, firstly: Adrien, is it true that you were _totally_ eating Marinette’s face when you claimed to be working on that ‘history project’ approximately two days ago?”

“I—we—w-what? No!” But Adrien’s blush gave him away and Alya’s glare only intensified. Adrien backed up, bumping into the wall behind him. “Well, eating her face is a bit of an exaggeration,” he mumbled, casting his gaze away from his friends.

Marinette snorted. “Yeah, if anything, it was the other way around. Mr. Model over here practically turned into a puddle when I started. Had to hold him upright.” Adrien clocked her in the ribs.

No more questions were asked for about a minute as Alya and Nino tried to rein in their laughter.

“HA! Oh, Adrien, that’s just—hahah—so _you!_ O-oh, bro, I _can’t!”_

Adrien kicked Nino in the shin. Some friends _he_ had.

Ayla finally managed to compose herself and looked down at her notes. “Okay, that was a ‘fun’ question to lighten the mood and make you two more comfortable answering questions. Now we’re getting into the ‘hard’ questions.”

Nino facepalmed. “Alya, have you been reading articles on journalism again?”

“Shut up, Nino. Anyway, Marinette.” The girl tensed as Alya continued. “How did you go from a hopeless, stuttering mess around Adrien to snogging levels in a day? Seriously, you move _fast_ , girl.”

Marinette gave a sheepish smile. “Weeell… I guess we just found out we have a lot more in common than we originally thought?” Technically, that was nearly exactly what had happened. No one else in the city could understand the struggles of an alter ego. Besides, what else was she supposed to say? _Oh, you know, I just discovered that Adrien is actually Chat Noir, and it turns out I’ve been cockblocking myself this whole time, because, oh, did I forget to mention that I’m Ladybug, the superhero that you fangirl to me about near-constantly?_ That would go down well.

But Alya was not going to let Marinette off the hook with an answer like that, and was currently giving Marinette one of her infamous looks. Marinette wasn’t even going to begin asking what she meant by it; last time, Alya had drawn up a multi-page guide on how to read her facial expressions. But she still got the general message: _Really?_

“Akuma! RUN!”

Marinette had never been more relieved for an attack before in her brief time as a superhero, and she quickly swiped Tikki back from Alya and bolted past the startled girl, Adrien close on her heels. After recovering from her surprise, Alya whipped out her phone, exclaimed something about ‘not missing them this time’, and ran towards the screams.

Nino sighed and shook his head in the now deserted alleyway. He was too tired to deal with this right now. Adjusting his headphones and cranking up the volume, he whistled to the tune as he strolled home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nino just wants to go home, but such is the woe of dating Alya.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I am literally posting these chapters one after another and I already have 70 hits, 6 kudos, and a comment. Thank you all so much, it's been, like, fifteen minutes. Wow.

Ladybug threw her spotted John Travolta body pillow high into the air. 

“Miraculous Ladybug!”

Chat Noir watched as the swarm of ladybugs flew through the air, restoring the beauty of Paris. No matter how many times he saw it, the spectacle was never any less amazing.

Chat stretched, a satisfying popping coming from his back. “Man, that was one hell of a fight.”

Ladybug smiled. “Personally, I think the out it gave us was worth every hit.”

“Well, you are the luckiest girl in Paris.”

“Yeah, but not because I’m Ladybug.” She gave Chat a quick peck on his very red cheek. “See you later, kitty.”

As the two heroes parted ways, a very ecstatic Alya watched from a nearby bush. “Did you see that, Ladyblog? Mark one up for Ladynoir! And be sure to subscribe for more top-notch superhero coverage. Alya out.”

\---

“You saw the video, right? How exactly is that _platonic?"_ Alya’s voice buzzed through Marinette’s phone as she doodled on the math homework she wasn’t doing. Tikki was sitting under her lamp, halfway through downing an entire tin of cookies. She couldn’t believe that her parents had yet to mention the mountains of cookies that disappeared into her room.

“What makes you think its romantic? Chat kisses her hand all the time.”

“That’s her hand, girl. This is different.”

“Have you ever considered that maybe they don’t appreciate all of this prying into their personal relationships?”

“Well, if they don’t want people to know, then they shouldn’t be so open with their affection!”

“Alya, you were filming them from a _bush!_ That’s toeing the line between ‘reporting’ and ‘stalking’.”

“What’s that thing that Nadja Chamack’s always saying? ‘Don’t be bemused, it’s just the news’?”

Marinette grumbled. That didn’t even apply in this context.

“And, by the way, since when you do you know more about Ladybug than the resident expert?” Marinette suppressed a snort. If only Alya knew how much of an expert she really was. “I mean, you’re talking as if you know her or something,” Alya joked. They both started laughing, Alya because she thought the concept amusing, and Marinette because she thought Alya thinking the concept amusing was an amusing concept.

Then, Alya’s laughing abruptly stopped. “Wait.”

Marinette gulped.

“You never did say how you got me that exclusive Ladybug interview. And now that I think about it, Ladybug seems to know the names of most of our classmates. And didn’t she point Chat Noir in your direction during the Evillistrator incident? And then there’s you and all your poor excuses…”

Marinette was starting to sweat profusely.

“Marinette, are you…”

Marinette had to bite her lip to prevent herself from screaming right there.

“Ladybug—”

“NO!”

“—’s friend?”

“Oh. Um, no to that too.”

“Wait, wh—”

Marinette hung up. 

“Tikki, I totally blew it. There’s no way she doesn’t know what’s going on! I’m _doomed_ …”

The kwami looked up and flew to Marinette. “Relax! You heard her, she only thinks you’re her friend. She doesn’t suspect that you really are Ladybug,” assured Tikki, sitting in Marinette’s palm.

“But I totally overreacted, and so she’s gunna be suspicious, and you heard her, she’s already putting two and two together! We don’t have long before she straps me to an electric chair or something!”

“Just make something up! Knowing Alya, she’s probably already on her way over here, so—”

Marinette clutched the sprite in her fist, causing her to emit a strangled _eep_ sound. “Omigosh Tikki you’re right! Crap, we gotta bail!”

Marinette shoved Tikki into her purse and rushed out of the bakery. Her parents didn’t even bat an eye; they were accustomed to their daughter’s… eccentricities.

As Marinette ran through the city, she heard Tikki shouting at her (something about how ditching the scene wouldn’t exactly help her case), but she paid her no heed, her attention focused on not running anyone over as she barreled towards the park, coming to rest at a secluded picnic table. With nothing better to do, she pulled out her sketchpad and let her thoughts consume her.

Hours later, when the ringing of Marinette’s phone wrenched her from her reverie, she didn’t even have to check to know it was Alya. She seriously contemplated letting it ring, but she knew she couldn’t hide from her friend forever. Sighing, she answered.

“Uh, hi, Alya! How’re you doing?”

“Hey Mari. So, this might seem a little random, but remember that time that Sabrina tried to steal your diary?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, since I’m your, you know, BFF, I was wondering, where do you hide the key?”

“…”

“Just for safety purposes. You never know when Chloé might strike again!” She laughed nervously.

“Alya?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you try to—”

A sigh. “Yeah.”

“Oh my god.”

“Sorry.”

“Alya oh my god.” Marinette began hyperventilating.

“It was just sitting right there, and I just couldn’t resist, and so I thought—”

“ALYA OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL?!”

“Hey, we tell each other everything, right? Are there really any secrets in here I don’t know already?”

“Yes! There are some secrets that you don’t want anyone to know, _not even your best friend_.”

“Hmm? Like what, Mari?”

“Like the fact that you and Nino like to cosplay as Ladybug and Chat Noir and roleplay sloppy makeout sessions when you don’t think anyone is watching.”

“…”

“By the way, ‘kittypie’ isn’t the kind of nickname I’d expect from you.”

“…”

“…”

“Mari I’ll never look at your diary again and I’ll pay for your lunch for the next week and do your homework and be your slave and—”

Marinette broke out laughing. “Oh, don’t worry, I won’t blackmail you. Unless I have to. Will I have to?”

Another sigh. “No, you’re right, I shouldn’t have looked at your diary. It was a very uncool thing to do, and I promise I won’t do it again. Please don’t hate me.”

“I’ll admit I’m a little peeved, but you _are_ my best friend. I can’t stay mad at you.”

Alya exhaled sharply. “You’re the best, girl. I sure wouldn’t be this forgiving if you looked at _my_ diary.” A pause. “So can you come over and free me?”

Marinette laughed again. “Yeah. And I know you’ve been a bit mad at all the secrets I’ve been withholding, and I can understand, but I swear I’ll tell you when I’m ready. There are just some things that really would rather you not know.” Marinette stopped talking for a beat. “I’m sure you know the feeling, ‘buggie-wuggie.’”

Alya’s voice grew cold. “Mari, speak of that to _anyone_ and I won’t hesitate to kill you.”

Marinette giggled. “Love you too, Al.”

She returned her phone to her pocket and started her journey home to free Alya’s hand from its prison. But not before a bit of teasing. Man, being a superhero that can hang outside of third story windows certainly has its upsides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't ask me why it made the lucky charm a John Trevolta body pillow because I don't know myself.
> 
> Also, I'm sorry for writing 'because she thought Alya thinking the concept amusing was an amusing concept'. I just couldn't resist.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one. A semi-preemptive thanks to everyone who commented, kudoed, or just plain stuck around; it means a lot to me, especially since this is my first fic to be published on this site (Shh, don't tell anyone!).

Ladybug and Chat Noir quickly rushed into one of the school’s bathrooms. Nobody should have been in the school anyway, but a little extra precaution never hurt anyone.

“I can’t believe this. Four akumas in four days, I mean really? Hawkmoth’s outdoing himself,” Ladybug complained, leaning against the wall.

“Well, while it is annoying, I always love a chance to see My Lady,” snarked Chat, putting his hand on the wall against Ladybug’s head.

“Oh, stop, Kitty. You see me plenty outside of costume.”

“Yeah, but you look so sexy in that skinsuit.”

“Says the furry in the tight leather. I mean come on, you’re _asking_ for it.”

Ladybug leaned into him, and her earrings beeped. She stubbornly ignored it.

“My Lady, I’m asking for it, leather or not.” Chat winked, sliding one hand down to Ladybug’s hip. “Remember last night?”

Ladybug laughed and pulled him even closer, his breath hot on her face. “I’d call that begging, not asking.”

Before he could retort, she grabbed his neck and pushed him against the bathroom wall, driving her lips onto his mouth. He was no gentler, clutching the girl to his body as their tongues danced ar— 

They both froze as someone inhaled sharply from behind them, the superheroes’ eyes shooting wide open. 

Somewhat reluctantly, Ladybug pulled away and turned around. There, standing elated in the center of the boys’ bathroom, her hands on her phone and her mouth turned up into a sheepish smile, was Alya.

Their miraculouses beeped. Chat gulped.

Alya kept smiling and motioned for them to continue. “Just pretend I’m not here.”

“Please tell me this isn’t live,” Ladybug pleaded.

“Uh, well…”

Ladybug let out the longest, most exhausted and utterly defeated groan ever to grace Paris.

_BEEP!BEEP!BEEP!_

Chat glanced at his ring and Ladybug’s hand shot to her earring. “We’re about to run out! Alya, cut the feed!”

“B-but everybody wants to know who are so _bad!_ I can’t just cut it now!”

“Alya, you could endanger all of Paris!” Ladybug was panicking, that Alya could tell. Her eyes grew misty, her voice shaky and pleading.

“I-I—”

“Alya, _PLEASE!_ ” Ladybug’s shout echoed in the small bathroom, desperate and grating, ringing off the walls and piercing Alya’s consciousness.

Alya stopped the stream.

Chat sighed in relief, sliding to the floor. Ladybug slapped a hand over her pounding heart even as she felt Tikki’s endurance give out. Alya shielded her eyes as they were assaulted by multicolored light, and when she was able to look again, she was not prepared for what she saw.

Marinette’s voice was weak. “Alya, I-I can explain! Just… Just hear me out, OK?”

Alya took a frightened step backwards. Marinette smiled reassuringly.

 _Ladybug_ smiled reassuringly.

Chat—Adrien—slumped on the floor, only casting a guilty and apologetic look in her direction.

Alya screamed for a good thirty seconds before starting to talk.

“So—wait—you two are… But that means that—hold on. Oh, god, I’ve been such an idiot! So, you two—and _god_ , I run the _Ladyblog_ —Ladynoir and Adrinette are— wait, does that mean… No, you two are—give me a second here.”

Marinette choked back laughter as Alya started to pace.

“You’re dating, and _they’re_ dating, but that makes sense, because they’re you, and—Oh hell, you—and me, and Marinette—but, no, how does a magic suit make someone so _hot?_ And my best friend—oh god, all the bathroom breaks—and I’ve been trying all year—dammit, that _textbook_ —literally within five feet of me, both of you—and I even showed Mari that picture of Chat-Adrien—”

Alya took a deep breath, dropped to the bathroom floor, threw her head back, and screamed for another couple seconds before looking straight at Marinette.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Marinette’s gaze plummeted. “I would’ve if I could’ve, Alya, but it’s not that simple. The only other person that knows right now is Adrien, and he only found out this week; my parents don’t even know.”

Alya nodded. “Alright. But, why?”

“I can’t risk people knowing who I am. If Hawkmoth discovered my identity, he could start targeting the people I care about. It would put my friends and family in danger.”

Alya seemed to be unwinding. That was good. Marinette kept going.

“Also, you loved trying to unmask me! It almost seemed like I would’ve spoiled it for you if I didn’t let you find out on your own. Which, well, you did.”

“But mostly it was because she’s stupid.” The girls looked over at Adrien, who seemed to be petting a small black cat thingie. Alya made a mental note to ask what the everloving fuck that was later.

Marinette was the first to address Adrien. “What are you talking about?”

The boy took some cheese out of his pocket and fed it to his magical cat bobblehead. “It’s the same reason you didn’t tell Chat. You fail to see just how great you are as Marinette, so you hide your identity from people who like Ladybug because you’re too afraid that they won’t like her after knowing that you are her, because for some reason, you think that Ladybug is better than Marinette.”

The two girls just stared at him for a moment until Marinette managed to push some words out. “W-well, she _is_ better than me!”

“Please,” snorted Alya, “you’re the same goddamn person! There is literally no way she is better than you!”

“Alya, you don’t understand. The suits… I trip every four feet and can’t hold a conversation with my crush, while Ladybug can lift a car and jump into the jaws of a T-rex!”

“Okay, so you can bench more when you’re transformed. Who cares?” Alya scooted forward and poked Marinette in the chest. “You’re still awesome, kind, and best-friend-material either way.”

“Thanks, Alya,” smiled Marinette, pulling her friend in for a hug. 

Alya was blowing up. She was best friends with _Ladybug!_ And best-friends-in-law with _Chat Noir!_ Just thinking about all the exclusive interviews she could get was making her giddy. She suddenly felt the need to scream again.

Adrien heard Alya inhale deeply, and immediately clamped a hand over her mouth. “No! No more screaming! My sensitive cat ears can’t bear it.”

Alya nodded, and broke away from Marinette. The three sat in a small circle.

“So. You two are Ladybug and Chat Noir.”

“I thought we established this paw-lready.”

Alya groaned and cupped her face in her hands. “I’m such a terrible journalist! How did I never see it? All the clues were right there!”

Marinette laughed. “How do you think I felt? I’d been pushing away my crush the entire time!”

“And I’d been sitting in front of the love of my life all semester and barely even noticed her!”

Alya joined in on the laughter. “Yeah, you too were pretty hopeless.” Her giggling broke off suddenly. “Oh no.”

“What?”

“Marinette, I ranted about Ladybug’s secret identity for hours, _to Ladybug_.”

“Yeah, it was pretty funny.”

“And my first celebrity crush was on my best friend! Man, that’s really weird to think about.”

Marinette and Adrien blanched. “Um, what?” questioned Marinette, as if she were treading on a minefield.

Alya raised an eyebrow. “Girl, did you not notice? Not even with all the ‘Ladybug is amazing!’s and ‘OMG Mari I got Ladybug’s autograph!’s? I literally made a blogpost guessing what you’re cup size was.”

Adrien smirked. “Those results were simply _strapping_.”

Marinette punched Adrien in the cheek as her face caught fire. She cleared her throat. “W-well, I mean, I thought you were just a really hardcore fangirl? And straight?”

Alya laughed at that. “I wear _flannel_ , girl. And, yeah, if you had told me about this before you set me up with Nino, things would have gotten… awkward. You do know that, like, half of Paris would totally make out with you if they had the chance? But unfortunately for you, I’m a taken woman.”

Marinette smirked. “Oh, that reminds me how funny it is that you dress up as me when you and Nino—Ummph!”

Before she knew what was happening, Marinette was on the ground, a fuming Alya pinning her down and covering her mouth. “Not. Another. _Word_.”

“Hey, Alya was that you screaming earl—”

Three heads turned to see a very shell-shocked Nino standing in the doorway to the bathroom, and, realizing the rather compromising position she was in, Alya spluttered out a hasty and incredibly suspicious “It’s not what it looks like!”

Nino glanced at Adrien. He shrugged.

“You know what? I’m gunna take your word for it.”

The boy spared one last glance at his beet-red girlfriend, who shot him her patented _Nino I swear I’m not about to get dirty with Marinette and we already had this conversation so could you please just leave? I promise to explain later_ look, and for once, Nino knew what she meant.

“If you need me, I’ll be very far away.”

A few seconds after Nino had left, Alya got off Marinette. “You two should probably tell him at some point.”

“Later. I think I’ve had enough drama these past few days.”

Alya adjusted her offset glasses and stood, brushing herself off. “Can’t argue with you there, girl. And I’m the _journalist_.”

She grabbed Marinette’s hand and pulled her up. “Hey, let me treat you guys to coffee. I never did get to celebrate you finally getting together. Also, Adrien, you need to tell me what’s up with that cat you fed cheese and then stuffed in your jacket.”

“Sounds great, Alya.” Marinette giggled. This was going to be one interesting coffee date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp, hope that was as much fun to read as it was to write.
> 
> I've always headcanoned Alya as bi, and yes, it is because of the flannel. Fight me.
> 
> Thanks again, and see ya!


End file.
